ternyata memang hati harus diisi, daripada kosong sama sekali.

selama ini gw mencari kesempurnaan dengan mengorbankan hati gw…. i did bad things to my heart.

sedikit demi sedikit gw disadarkan bahwa kesempurnaan bukanlah segalanya….

just strolling out with him at fx -our first sour sally (me -bought by myself) and cold stone buy 1 get 1 : )


we meet his friends, 3 guys who worked at EF and 1 girl who had an artist management, plus catwalk model. OMG, and i saw him put his hand on one of his guy friend’s shoulder… oh no, am I just being paranoid? Gosh….

i just found out that in a relationship, we needs chemistry and same envision. it is not difficult to found, yet not easy either.. it’s just the way God arrange the timing.. he’s been a great friend, but we just not meant together. we don’t have something in common, we lived in a different world and aiming for different things.

well, anyway… in the end, i cannot push the right love comes in immediate, but i can open my heart widely…. and start accepting imperfections… yes, i can do it.

my playlist

aligned with my new ipod shuffle… i am searching and syncing songs for it.

then, i just realized that I have lived in my giant dome of shallowness, without knowing that there’s a million cool songs out there!

now I’m crazy about these songs:

1. lucky – jason mraz & collie calbiat

2. jordin sparks – one step at a time

3. katy perry – i kissed a girl (lunatic song, with cool music!)

4. lady Gaga – love games

5. adhitia sofyan – adelaide sky

6. david archuleta – crush

welcome to the colorful world, steph!!!!

one step at a time

the lyric is so cool, so I just can stand to quote it! 😀

“When you can’t wait any longer, But there’s no end in sight. It’s the pain that makes you stronger, The only way you get there Is one step at a time.”

Jordin Sparks – One Step At A Time

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you’ve always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can’t touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You’re confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you wished for
Could be or should be or would be yours
If they only knew

When you can’t wait any longer
But there’s no end in sight
It’s the pain that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time


i wrote this comment on one of my friend’s blog. she’s so much alike with me, in addition she’s one year younger than me. so, it seemed like looking back my life one year behind… :

we are so much alike, ka….
i’ve exactly in your place one year ago…
but now, after 2 years working, i can lift up half of the burden easily.
life is about choosing, and you gotta make sacrifation.
there was a moment when i blamed myself, but now i’d prefer not to.
we’re not failed… we just need to re-designed our life plan, that’s all.

i laugh, and feel ironic. now i was here, still in the same place, waiting for my boss’ and God’s promise for me, and also asking the same question like hers.

am I still interested in marketing?

can I keep this dream, to get my master degree?

I live in an environment where people are gettin’ old and what they’re thinking are just gathering assets, speaking about their childrens, or a dream to move to other company in order to gain more salaries (back to assets issue). so, i must struggling to keep my youth ness and my spirit!

weekend nganggur ini harus gw manfaatkan untuk bikin schedule beasiswa gw 🙂