anyho… i can manage not to be teared apart, with a little help of money and a little help from the gals.

yes, i was save, but my money aren’t.

but, it’s ok-lah… money is not everything, rite. don’t count it. at least for this case 🙂

bad day

life is a series of random events.. we’ll never know how and when, but it just happened.

1. I got hit by my own window.. and I still can feel the pain on my head until now. I am so lucky it doesn’t hit my eyes…

2. I throw my own room key to a trash plastic… and it makes me had to search it between my orange skins garbage..

3.  I spend lots of money to buy vitamin E body shop set who makes my face skin even worst… well okay, that’s not unfortunate.. that’s just something unimportant which I wanna buy since I was in college..

4. I receive a text from him, canceling our appointment tomorrow. this make me sad, but not upset. okay, just a little upset. but, then I planned to reschedule to today. but, he won’t bother to reply my text, my chat, or even pick-up my calls. Goshhhh, the most selfish man on earth!!!!! this is when enough is enough!!!

it made me feel stuck in my room… i gotta grab a fresh air to cool my mind up! then i start to call my friend one by one… but none of them were available tonight. so, i decide to call my friend -Yasmin, who’s just having break fasting with her friends at grand indonesia. well, fortunately she’s flexible enough to have a “date” with me in a very short notice. then i dried my hair, put on some moisturizers, and wearing a fit clothes and go grab a taxi.

as always, he reply my chat late… and pretending there was nothing happened. sick sick sick. nope, he’s not that kind man told by my friend a week ago. he’s a megalomaniac who thinks that he’s the center of the earth. nope, you’re not babe.. i still got so so so many friends to accompany me in a bad saturday night.

no man, no cry!

me and yasmin. good food, great friends!

me and yasmin. good food, great friends!

curhat session through facebook..

ekaaaa, gw kayaknya mesti curhat nih sama loe, heehehe… belakangan ini gw jadi teribly malesssss… lots of work to do… but i gotta hang-on and fight for my dream 🙂

–> one thing i learned this past one week:

having a boyfriend won’t make your life easier. I just realized that hanging-out with your boyfriend or with your gals is the same. They had the same quality. What makes it different just because the za-za-su that tickles your stomach and your boyfriend may pay for the date, so it will save your money 🙂

but, other than that… without the sensations, it’s useless. don’t go for a date when you don’t want to. That’s my opinion. Maybe I was such a fool, but I hope I make a right decision.


Gosh, I am thinking… am I making a wrong decision?

i just ran off from a guy that having a big crush for me.. i just went offline and close my YM from him. in the other side, the other guy, who never respect me- just make a fun of me in public area.

am I making a right decision?

Gosh… I don’t know. I really don’t know. Is it just me or ………..? I don’t know!

God, bless me… give me Your signs… T.T


he never care for me.

he is using me.

but, it doesn’t make me feel bad about myself.

because what matter the most is myself, not others.

and i still got so many things in my head.

i pray.

i pray and thanking God for all of His blessing.

i pray and hoping that this weekend will still be fabulous. no regret.

once in a moment!!!

i like him!! i like the fact that he had succeed to change me.

and I hope i can celebrate his birthday. i don’t know what surprise party i must create… because i don’t wanna sacrifice lot of things for him or for anybody. i want to give him a muffin with a candle, so he can blow on it and make a wish.

God, i hope it can be true. because I know when i’m having my birthday, he’ll be faraway out there….

growing up

growing up doesn’t always growing old….

in 15 days, i would be 24 years old. in my imagination 7 years ago, i would be a funtastic lady and having everything in 24 years old.

but, then i smiled.

i have achieve something spectacular this year… i am changing to a way better person.

from dementor to a cheerful girl.

from rushy girl to a girl that enjoys every moment in her life.

from a girl that always aim for objective to a girl that respect all of the journey within.

i have already read this quote and even put it in my undergraduate final thesis, but i can actually act like it just now.

“the most important thing is not the destination, but it’s the journey…..” (Paulo Coelho)


can you realize that when we keep running in our life, we’ll pass so many beautiful things around us? when we’re arrived in the finish line, it will be too late to get back and catching up those moments. i don’t want to have that regret in my life. i don’t want to run run and run in my life without enjoying the life itself…

i like him due to fact that he changed me with his own way. i hate him because he’s so joker face. but, i don’t care. I have decided no to fear to whatever happened in the future. I am an adult. I know what i’m doing and i will take a full responsibilities of all my actions.

broken hearted, crying, desperate, fall down…. so what.

this is life. we live and we learn. we made mistakes and we learn from it. if we never had a shot, we’ll never know the result. i want to fly and see the beautiful sky. even though in the end i may fall, but i won’t be teared apart. i will always stand still because of myself. i love myself, more than others.

yesterday there was a man trying to know me closer. at first, i wanna give him a shot, but he made me terrified after the second calls! Gosh, at that moment i just realized that i’m not ready for the M thing (Marriage). he’s so serious… he talked about criteria, dreams, and all the things that were inconvenient to be talked to strangers….!

after several days in dilemmas, i decide i’ll pass this one.

i believe God would give me someone that tickle my heart. someone that is fit on me, in HIS mighty eyes. but i think not now, while i got so many things to do.  my toefl, scholarships, work, SAP things, marketing movement….. and i already had someone that tickle my stomach… even i know i may fall, but i won’t be teared apart. because i love myself even more.