i hate him because yesterday he just abandoned me in front of my office at night. what kinda man is that??!
and i hope he knew how it feels to lose me!
but, i was fallin’ again when today he started to tell stories about his niece…
i don’t have a niece or nephew, and I don’t have that kinda sense of mothering either. so, i just felt really touched when he was played with his niece. Oh my God, he is a world that i never knew before.
Dia adalah dunia yang sebelumnya tidak aku tahu.
He’s waaaayyy different with me!!
and I have passed so many awful things… due to our differences.
I felt bitter when I called him to offer some nice deeds, but he was in the middle of his popular friends, and he just answered me with a big laugh.
I was shocked when he told me about his once darkest life.
I don’t like his habit to measure everything from the brands nor the price.
but, well… I just going deep and deep… when I realized that he’s changing.
he doesn’t smoke anymore, for whatever reasons. he just stop, and I looove that fact!
he rarely go clubbing for these past several months.
he started to manage his spending. more down to earth.
he still being so cranky about looks… well, it something that may will not change, hahahahaa…
in the other side, I adores the way he talked to his mom or his dad.. it is something that I never did to my parents. he talked very gentle. we communicate in a way different method… and i just feel very ashamed of the way I talked to my parents, loud and so rude…
And I just realized that he never speak loudly. he just being irritating sometimes. but, he never speak loud. something that makes me feel awful when I begin to scream…
He enjoys life to the fullest. he never complaints, even shit happens and life sometimes becomes so difficult for him. he never feel disrespected even though people do not believe in his abilities, even he made a joke of it. he always angry to me when i started to complaint or even hold a long breath…. or showing an awful face when I look at my holiday income…. “Steph, this is a bless. you got to be grateful for the blessings, even though the numbers is not as you expected.”
so, I fall deeper and deeper when I realized the fact that…. I changed.
I changed into someone better.
just before my 24.
it’s because someone taught me not to be so cranky… but to enjoy life and always be grateful for better or worse.
I changed from a dementor into someone that spread the cheers.
I begin to enjoy life by doing anything that I liked.
but, well… this is just a story of my life. one story of millions of journey ahead… I will never be worry of losing something or someone. because life is about comes and goes… but the memories stay.