pandora box

okay… i tried to calm down myself with writing on this status on my FB: “things will soon be changed and i will miss this part of my pandora box.. filled with hope and dreams.”

but, the fact is: I can’t help it. I just can’t manage people starting to make a distance from me. I know that everything and everybody changes along the time. I can’t expect our friendship will stay put as it is a year ago. It lasts in my memories how we used to laugh together, before the work things start to get in the way.

anyway, it’s 14 days ahead, minus the weekends. so, it might only last 10 days for me staying in this department. when i thought i was having and working nothing for 2 years and 4 months in my department, i was wrong. I did a lot of things, I experienced so many amazing things, and having a great friendship here.

and actually, i don’t need any effort to make it great. because it’s already was….

i have already learned so many things.

learn how to work without any guidance.

learn to manage overload work.

learn how to interact with subordinates.

learn how expatriates might be great, but they can’t beat local.

learn how to have a calm boss and the aggressive one.

learn how to had a really good friend and then disappointed because he just value me from work things.

learn how to manage romance and keeping up the performance.

learn how to lose some of great friends and then moving on and found other great friends.

learn how some people judge me as immature and i am very pissed-off, because they don’t know how i struggled for life. but in the end, i realized that we are what we act. and yes, i am not mature enough.

so, again, it’s already been a great journey of mine.

some of them were bad. i hate my title name. i’m not call centre of receptionist. it looks bad in my cv.

i hate the way i’ve been single for these past 2 years. but, that is my preference. it was me who decide to reject and avoid all those men who came along. so, it’s also my call to decide how i’m gonna through my lovelife towards future….

i hate my performance appraisal. i hate the fact that my boss value me from the result, not the process. she just refuse to sparkle the shining diamond and decide to keep that diamond in the rack as it is. i don’t care. it hurts a while. So, this is how it feels to really working hard for someone, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.

but, hey…. i’m still a diamond, and it’s her lose not to keep it well. a diamond is still a diamond, wherever it belong. so, i will keep my performance for myself. not for her, not for the big boss, not for my company. only for myself. this is the way i worked and value myself. only God knows =)

after all the bad words and regretfulness, i’m not the same person as I was 2 years and 3 months ago….

this is the journey as Paulo Coelho said…

some may got their dreams easily, but the process makes it even more perfect. now i’m not an ordinary marketer. i’m a sparkling one! =)

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4 thoughts on “pandora box

  1. Apparently this period in your life has been very fruitful. I think anyone who manages to exploit his experiences as an employee like this, is doing great. In this way it is an asset for the rest of your l.ife and career.

    Obviously you got the great and rare talent to thoroughly reflect on your own track record.

  2. i envy you so much yet i’m so proud and grateful that i have you as a friend…
    you’ve been inspiring me so much, steph! you go and get “that”! i’ll do my best to keep up with you! 😉

  3. thanks darling.. you know, one big mistake of a human is that we never feel satisfied.
    i want to have it al.
    i want to get exceed in my performance appraisal, but i did not get it due to my decision to move to marketing. it still hurts so bad until now.
    but yeah, i’m ready for the new challenges! and thanking God for all.
    thanks for envying me.. but i’m not that ideal.. hehehe..

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