bbbb…

is he a gay or a bastard?

none can answer that, at least now. either one of those two possibilities, i don’t care. he’s been one of part of my life, and i’ll just have fun with it : )

but, at least now i can put aside his shadow in my mind. when i meet new guy, i am no longer thinking and comparing that guy with him anymore. well, now in front of my eyes there’s a man who’s lonely and offer his time, car, and energy for me (if it’s not a money for dating), so i’ll just go with him. even though he’s quite dangerous, but i hope everything would be fine. ehm, and not to mention several guys who’s into me… even though i’m not into them, but we can still be friends… to watch movie, eating, travelling. isn’t it the point of having “not-so-serious” relationship?

i am not ready for engagement, knowing his family and his problems, even if i want to.. because i am not ready for the end game: married. so, c’mon… in this culdesac working moment of mine, the best is having someone cuddling you even it’s not a real boyfriend. real boyfriend means real problem 🙂

i just can’t handle the feeling that i’m dating with someone’s boyfriend…. hhhhhhh…

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