The bitter and sweet.
When I’m in high school, I used to have a crush with some men, but everything ended bitter for me.
Oh yeah, it does taste sweet when I feel that he had crush on me either.
But in the end, i’ll realized that he does not like me.
In college, I have my first boyfriend.
But, my relationship filled with 90% bitter and 10% sweet things.
It began with sweet act, treatments, words.. but finally i realized that he’s the type of man who will broke every women’s heart.
Then I began to feel that love is a very dangerous thing, and if you’re not ready.. better avoid it.
When i’m not in love, i feel stronger. I can face anything, any challenge, any career stage in front of me.
But when i’m in love, i tend to be weaker.. to be boneless.
But, shit.. i’m a human.
I always like somebody, because I have feeling.
So, then I met this man..
I thought he was not my type at that moment, but I am really curious with his cool-ness.
And i don’t know why.. I always replied his in messenger or text.. I can avoid him like i avoid any man that (i thought) i don’t really like.
My heart was scrambled, i can’t even guess my feeling.
What i know is.. this man had all the good things that you could expect from a man.
He doesn’t smoke, not a drunker, love his family so much, and he’s very responsible.
But i did not really thought that this relationship will leads to “something”.
After 1.5 years.. I realized that i hurt him many times.
But he’s still here, besides me (not, technically).
He always trying to understand.. for who i am, who i want to be, and the evil me.
He is very patient.. listened to all my messy day, my heartbreaking career, or even my PMS cramp.
He can accept me telling him fat all the times.. and he bought a hula-hoop because i asked him to be slimmer.
I cried several times during this relationship, but mostly because i’m very impulsive.. or I’m in my period.
He cried for me twice, and i remember it all.
I remember every second of it.. and i’ll never forget it.
I remember that when we first have this relationship.. I always complaint about the physical things.
But now.. when I see his face.. the first feeling that i got is.. home.
Yeah, his face is a home for me.
A place where i could go after i’m tired working.. and most of all.. a comfort.
I feel very peaceful after seeing his face.
Even he can put-up with me not allowing him reading my blog (at all) for 1.5 years! At that moment I said I need private space.
And he can put-up with that, and now I dedicate this entry for him and allowing him reading my blog for the first time 🙂
I can’t find out the most reason why God put us in this long distance relationship.
Maybe because God knows I will always dream of overseas life.. so then HE put me in this closest overseas location.
Or maybe.. God just want to show how much he’s patient with me.
When I feel frustrated with this condition, he always calm.
Even though i hope that he could cry with me.. but i know deep inside.. he missed me as much as i do.
Magically, in this relationship.. I don’t feel any bitter.
It always taste sweet.
Now I know how it felt to fall in love with the right person.
Now I know, love will taste bitter when you’re in love with the wrong person.
Thank U God for everything 🙂
For what I ask and I didn’t ask, but YOU made it all for me.
Thanks for YOUR greatest blessing ever.
PS: the most romantic thing he ever did (even though I always says he’s not romantic) is waiting for me sleeping for 1 hour in front of gtalk! yeah, i was very tired and sleepy at that moment. So, i just fell asleep and he waited for me.. he said, he enjoyed looking at my sleeping face. Aww, babe.. you’re so sweet.. Thanks for making me feel the prettiest girl in the world 🙂