I’m sorry

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry ibu paseo that i didn’t follow my heart to buy your tissues. I’m sorry I just smiled at you and left.

I’m sorry mas KFC that I need to cancel my order, because it took you so long to arrive & I’m already super starving. I’m sorry if you ended up buying my order (I hope not).

I know I have been so emotional, bossy, and sometimes mean. I will repay all of my mistake with something good. I will try, God.

Because you have been so nice to me, by giving me healthy parents & spouse, cute daughter, and good job. I don’t know what more to ask.. Thank you God, I will try to be nicer.

Motherhood (almost)

Being a mom takes a loooootttt of hard work. What I mean is a lot, yes more than anything else.
It’s started when the doctor said I’m pregnant. I can’t fit into my jeans, start throwing up 3-5x a day, and don’t wanna do anything including cooking. Then my doctor said I need to drink more, and pee more. So I started to wake up 2-3x at night to pee.

Then it gets better after 5 months, the nausea had disappear. After 7-8 months, my back start hurting me and waking up from bed is such a struggle.

And now, waiting for the baby to come out.. Haha, this is another battle because currently my body is not mine anymore because she’s getting bigger (yes, it’s a girl!) And even 1 minute walk makes my feet swollen & feels like my tummy is going to drop.

So yes, now I understand why all moms want their baby to come out soon!!

However, God is currently teaching me to be patience, since I’m the most impatient girl in the world!!

She will come out, eventually, don’t know when, but in His perfect time..

D-22 before our wedding..

I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him..
Although the preparation sometimes could be so intense, but he also can be so adorable & made me realize why I chose him.
He walk the talk & trying to be responsible of this preparation.
He made me smile when he said “my soon to be wife” with shyness.
I should be enjoying this journey because in the future most likely we’ll be sick to each other & I’ll miss the moment where I miss him the most and hoping to spend the night with him.
God, please bless our wedding to be beyond my dream & also our marriage to last forever.



People said, environment is the most important thing on workplace.
I miss to be in a positive environment, supportive & friendly.
I miss to be accepted as the way I am and not to be in a peer pressure.
I hope my new place will be like above.. God may bless me 🙂


It has been ages since I posted all my burden in this blog. I guess I forgot that human need to tell stories.. to anyone.

My head feels like spinning and spinning.. and my first verdict is.. because I don’t like my job. I don’t like the amount of massive presentations I need to deal with..

But can I really find what I like? I guess am just too afraid.. :((

a year ago..

a year ago, the same Easter.. I was in France, and I didn’t even think going to the church, because I don’t understand what the Pastor said. During 10 months there, I only went to church about 2-3 times to really pray.. while the rest are only visiting the church for sightseeing.

It is quite ironic that my biggest dream has -apparently, makes me far from God. It is God who allows me to reach that dream, but apparently it makes me far-faraway from him. I think that’s why He sent me back here 🙂

After back to Indonesia.. time to go to Bali?

When I was freezing at Rennes.. I promised to myself that I will go to Bali as soon as I got back to Indonesia!

But, after back here.. I haven’t even book a flight ticket to Bali. I always being very considerate, especially regarding the cost. Well, to be honest I’ve been going so many times to Bali, maybe around 5 times in my life, and I have random memories about Bali. Some of them were great, but some of them were plain boring, hot, and not as beautiful as those Hollywood celebrities said!

I don’t know why Tyra Banks said Bali is the most beautiful place in the world on her show.. For me and most Indonesian, Bali is not that beautiful.. definitely more beautiful than the beaches in Europe, but it’s still overrated.


Wedding Fair 29 Nov-1 Dec 2013

Last week I went to wedding exhibition held by Weddingku. They had numerous vendors, but the arrangement wasn’t very nice because the map is only showing list of vendors without exact location. Even worst, there are some vendors weren’t on the list, such as Jonquilla!


Anyway, we finally booked some vendors:

1. Wong Hang >> Groom’s suit. We got quite a nice deal, I guess. Total were 3.3 mio for 1 piece of suit with made from wool fabric, vest, custom made shirt, and a tie. If you order the suit only, the normal price was 3 mio for the tailoring cost and the fabric cost around 900 thousand IDR. We chose Wong Hang because they’ve succeed to convince my BF that you only need 1 suit for the rest of your life. They gave lifetime guarantee to adjust the suit’s size up to 7kg (Well, most of guys gain more than 7 kg after 30.. So I think it won’t be his only suit, LOL). Anyway, other suits vendor such as Harry Palmer or Brutus, charged us moooree than that. The only vendor which can gave us cheaper price was Creativo, they offered us 4.5 mio package and we can get 2 suits package and 1 shoes.

2. GBU Trans >> They charged us 1.8 mio for Nissan Serena 2013 for usage 24 hours. They promise they won’t charge overtime, and it’s include gasoline and driver fee (exclude toll fee & parking).

3. Catering >> We finally decided to book Awen Catering (one of Gedung Arsip’s vendor) because they gave us so many bonuses! YAY! Hopefully they’ll serve good foods!


I hope we made the right decision 🙂


working means..
there will be some days when everything feels so light and enjoyable..
but there’s some days when your body feels cramped and your mind feels so blocked because of all the workload and pressures..