my own quote

Okay, i make my own quote tonight, “even though I know we will end to nothing, but I just wanna be happy..”

Have u ever been in a condition where your head saying that you are a complete moron, but your heart just wanna give that moroness action a shot?

okay, now i’m in a deep shit to decide where will I moved.

Uh yeah, 90% people around me says I’m stupid if I moved to Kuningan. But deep down inside my heart, I said to myself that I never had the chance to be close with people so adore with. This is just something I wanna do since I was in elementary school: being with popular guy. Plus, this popular guy have those magic words to calm me down, but the minus thing is………. yeah, uh.. i know we will end to nothing.

yeah, I’m tired. But, I also trying to get rid of him and get a replacement, but it haven’t been succeed yet.

and I feel guilty to myself because of that.

well, sometimes you just act irrationally, with full consciousness.  because you know, it will makes you happy, even just for a short-term happiness.

I wanna give it a shot, huaaa….!

I once promised to myself, never ever ever doing something stupid for others. such as when he pushed me so hard to buy blackberry, i said to myself, NO!! you will regret the 4 million you’ve spent!! you will ended cursing yourself when you know that…………. that blackberry won’t give you any benefit. just make you spend your money every month (for the package), for stupid reasons.

but then, i decide to buy it mostly because i moved to marketing. and it’s true, now we hardly chat each other every day, and even it do so, it just filled with crankiness, sometimes useful, but most of it was crap. but i really feel the advantage of linking my office email to blackberry 🙂

marketing job has no fixed time, so I am proud to myself because i bought blackberry for reasonable thing.

now, i have no idea what is the other benefit i’ll get from that new room to rent!!!

gimme me some, please?

anyway, maybe i’ll get an award for being such a loyal woman, ever.

every now and then*

*stealing colson’s words.

I am so busy memorizing the past, when we -me and him, the one that I struggled to forget, having those times together. started when we have vacations in bromo, continue to those days when he continuously flirted on me, when we went to gym together, and I personally saw his dorm, continue to never ending story when I.. again.. struggled to get rid of him from my mind.

but now, as I saw that blue sky upon me, through my father car’s window this morning, I suddenly realized.. that this present will soon becoming the past… and I won’t have enough time to catch my presence, because I’m too busy letting myself live in the past.

Then I remember, our times was never be too great. I just remember those sweet moments, when I feel so much comfort in front of him. But, I forgot.. I forgot how we started it in an ackward way. when I prayed time will go so fast when we accidentally walked home from the lobby together. When he teached me how to shape trisep, and I just can’t stop shaking like a dork. So, yes… I’ve through that ackward moments.

and yes, if I asked, “does people fit in each other along the time, or they just meant to be fit in each other?”

the answer is definitely, time.

It is the same like when I hang out with this man -let’s called it as Romeo, I felt very ackward and felt like want to crawling out of there.  But, for the 2nd time we pass times together, I feel more relaxed and comforted.

Therefore, if I can do it with him or Romeo, I can do it with others!

It’s just the matter how I want to open my heart for a new delighting experiences or not. Do I want to let myself miserable, thinking of someone who doesn’t think of me in return. Or I want to seek for a guy who really respect me and makes me feel special?

life

what is life if it’s only filled with working and loneliness? have you ever stop your steps a bit and thinks… what is life to you?

yesterday i feel excited and today i feel empty… how to deminish all those feelings around?