awake

Today I have to work all things out in the office, because my subordinate was absence due to motorbike accident. Everyone’s busy, so I have to manage it by myself. Yes, I got helps, but apparently it’s not enough. plus, my friend has being so selfish. Tomorrow he’ll go to Bali, but he went home so early, in fact he will be taking a leave until monday.

and the flame was nearly turned down, i guess… i just lost my spririt. from 99 point in the scale of 100, it’s dragged down to level 10. Tuhan, huhuhhuu….

tadi gw pulang nyampe kos jam 8.30 PM, trus ngantuk banget and i decide to sleep rather than pushing myself too hard. jadi berasa jaman kuliah deh, huehehehee… trus gw kebangun lagi jam 11.30 PM. trus biasa deh, jadinya linglung, hehehehee…. Anyway, gw bener2 nggak respek sama salah satu pasangan kandidat capres kita nih. entah kenapa, gw sebel banget sama pasangan itu. lagipula, gw ngelihat kok semua capres tuwir berat semua yah? kalo dlihat dari umurnya, mostly 50 tahun keatas semua. kadang2 miris juga menyadari kalau usia diatas 55 tahun tuh harusnya sudah pensiun, tapi kok di Indonesia ini malah jadi presiden…

this is a country bo, salah bikin keputusan karena faktor usia kan berabe… apa bener yah, orang2 mudanya pada belum siap. menurut gw engga juga sih, sebenernya banyak yang bagus, cuma sayang aja mereka nggak punya power dan duit, hehehehe… ujung2nya ya itu juga kan…

crazy,,,,

yaps, today is just a crazy day for me.

1. my friend at office read my blog. Gosh, my greatest fear has happened. darn…… i think i really had to be careful now, kekekekkek….

2. whaaaa??? my friend just told us that he will extending his days in bali in all season hotel, with rates 1.2 million per day??! kreeezziiii!!!!! i don’t know what’s on his mind…. 2.4 million dorm, and now… a 1.2 million room… how can he got all that money??!! GOSH….

3. my work getting heavier.. so many adjustment, so many suffering ahead. and most of all, i can’t love the challenge like i did in the beggining of this year 😦
i don’t know why, maybe i’m just too excited with a glimpse of hope that i may get a marketing career. or things just went in opposite direction in my department. now we don’t know what or who to defend. everyone wear their own mask….

i don’t know, i just lost my spirit…

cry (again)

today i got the most exhausting shopping experience… I went to ambassador mall, to meet Yasmin so we can shop together. first, when i already take a kopaja, i just realized that i leave my wallet in my room, so i had to embarrassed myself and go back to my room. Gosh, my life is such a drama.

after i got second kopaja and make sure i got my money, i feel like this transportation doesn’t fit me well enough! i don’t care whether you call me snobbish or else, because i never understand why the driver had to drive like insaine and why the “pengamen” had to be anoxious. between 2 pengamen who came to the kopaja, one of them looks like crazy man, he just clapped his hand while singing. Gosh, i don’t know what happened to me, but taking a kopaja was really an inconvinience experience for me. i think i really had to buy a car, eventhough it’s totally a waste. comfortness is expensive!!!

well, after we got our “cullinaire” a.k.a back to the ambassador bridge foodcourt, the menado and pempek wanna be… me and yasmin has just realized that it’s saturday night! ugh, i hate going out in saturday night, because i can see people are dating out. and there’s one more thing which add pain in my bruise, i saw in facebook my friend is already had another relationship with another girl! indeed, he just broke-up with her girlfriend about 2 weeks ago!

ugh, people are sooo much busy with their spouses, while i sang oppie’s song outloud: “aku baik-baik sajaaaaa… i’m single and very happpyyyyy…”

no, i think i am no longer happy.
dealing with the fact now i don’t have something to feel that damned za-za-zu in my stomach. in conclusion, i don’t have any relationship, and i don’t like anyone either. i think i’m a stone girl now. my heart has changed to a stone…. OH MY GOD.

suddenly i feel very sad.
my toefl had over, my job process has done, now…. what else i have to search? for what reason i have to delay my love to arrive?
God, gimme a boyfriend, who can fit me well. as you know, now i already shifting from an appearance-based girl to a moderate girl :p

please? please? please?

my new cat, miaow, and pet lovers

my new cat.

my sis found her in the street, and can’t stand to pick her up…. whoa, I kinda like her in just one night 🙂

Thank God my family is pet lovers….

below are the glimpses when I took to my grandma’s house by car. she’s so affraid, until she finds my stomach, hahahahaha:

speaking of which, still remember my dog:

hopefully the can live happily ever after together yaaaa…. or that cat would be in cage 😦

jakarta great sale???

yesterday, i went to sency… to watch transformer and had a crazy shopping due to jakarta great sale, and finally my salary has appears in my account.

but, what I saw is only zara sale, with irrational price (suck! the shoes is still 449,000!!! and I just got lousy short for IDR 199,000) sick, sick, sick….

well, finally my gals ended shopping at orange, hehehehe… while I didn’t buy a thing. hmm, this jakarta great sale just not fitted me that well, i guess…

anyway, but i got several things in mind now, which i planned to buy:
1. body butter body shop… huhuhuhu… i want it since i was in college 😦
maybe i’ll buy the body scrub also.. actually they got night and day cream of vitamin E in small pot, with relatively cheap price (40,000-50,000), but i still considering to shift from my skin doctor’s cream.. it’s so risky, you know….

2. i want etude loose powder…. but i still got my palgantong, which i bought with a very expensive price! IDR 160,000 for 25 gr…. so i guess, i will delay this expense until 3 months ahead. no impulsive buying!

3. i want to buy gogirl mag… it’s been a millenium since i read one…

4. i want pempek and rujak uleg…. Gosh….. (i think i shouldn’t write it in my list, should i?)

5. i already ordered one korean dress by internet, hopefully the actual will be great (will be shipped to me in 2-3 weeks onwards), then i’d decide to buy the next one… it’s so pretty when i saw the pictures, though…

6. dvds!!! i need lipstick jungle, desperate housewives, and ugly betty’s dvdsssss…..

that sick bottle

u know that i’m trying to do just then???
gw habis makan padang dengan sambal ijo yang melimpah, trus gw merasa kepedesan.. the i went to warung and buy a bottle of nu green tea honey (the regular one is my favorite, actually…)

dengan kondisi kepedesan abis makan padang, gw kesetanan buka botol itu dgn lidah mendesis2. taunya tutup botol nya kenceng banget, sampai tangan ngelupas. gw coba potong kaitan di tutup plastiknya dengan pisau, tetep aja ngga bisa dibuka.

sampai gw udah pasrah, gw mau potong aja di mulut botolnya, trus gw pindahin ke gelas

eh taunya plastiknya tebel, dan pisau gw terlalu tipis

dengan keputusasaan dan kepedesan yg luar biasa, akhirnya gw pukul2 tuh botol ke lantai

(biasanya itu berhasil ke tutup besi)

sampe isinya jadi berbusa

eh pas gw buka lagi bisa dong, tutupnya jadi loss banget malah

errrggghhhh…

rasanya habis sembelit beberapa hari dan akhirnya keluar juga,,,,, gw langsung minum tuh minuman yang udah ngga dingin lagi dan isinya sudah berbusa… gluk gluk gluk….

nih fotonya, perhatiin bagian mulut botol yang habis gw iris dengan pisau (tapi gagal itu):

morning tea

I think I really lost my ability to sleep like a masai lion!

Gosh, I don’t know whether it’s a bless or a curse. In some point, hibernation could refresh my week. But, as people said, a virgin should awake in the morning. so, again… it’s about choosing between myself and what people said, wakakakakakk…

no lah… I think it is about time for me to have a normal sleep for adult, only 6 hours a day. so, i consider it as a bless, hehehehehe….

no transformer, no cry….

yups…
who said we should watch transformers?

while we could trade our movie tickets to delicious pasta, laughing (extremely) outloud, seeing the zara big sale, seeing those women shop at orange, and having yoghurt as a perfect desserts!

and for countless times (lebayyy…), I go with him. but, I don’t know. the feeling was just disappeared somewhere, out there. but in this lonely night, suddenly i remember him. I’m searching for alibi to go out with him tomorrow.
well, I don’t know is it just a lonely desperate feeling from a single woman like me, hahahahhaa…. yes, this feeling fooled me, creating some sort of silly imaginations in my neutron…

i don’t know whether i’m still in “like” with him…
because day by day he looks not so interesting anymore…

I can’t talk much about anything with him, feels like we’re talking in a different language…
yes, i suddenly realized that appearance is no longer important. how can you survive with a man with cute looks, but you barely can speak anything with him? so boring…
all the gorgeous looks in my eyes gone in 1 year-time, and I just look at him as the same person.

hopefully it’s not a temporary realization yaa… I need to be more mature in choosing my spouse… >,<

one step at a time?

Today I received 2 phone calls related to my job process in a leading cosmetic and pharmacy company, hopefully it’s for good. because I have decided that I will no longer stay in my comfort zone, no matter it takes. I will move on with my life, fight for my dream, to avoid any regret in the future.

but, I received bad news also 😦

my TOEFL international test has come out (eventhough by online). the overall score was enough for me to apply the australian scholarship, but apparently my writting score is not enough, huks huks….

I was wondering.

Is it the way God tell me that I should do everything one step at a time?

well, God has proven HIS power and timing, so in this sacred night, I can’t stop searching for the next scholarship. I am sure that He wants me to keep searching. Okay, maybe not now. It’s just me…. hahahhaaha….

when it comes to an option….

when it comes to an option….
all you have to do is lay down beneath the sky
and let those puffy clouds give you the answer….
(i wish)

but it’s not that easy.
you have to think, make a cost and benefit analysis, and fighting with yourself as well as fighting with people around you that’s not supporting your decision.

I wish I could be so sure, but I’m not.
yesterday I cried at office.
While speaking with my friend by phone, I was so damned sad and desperate, then I cried. several tears flown, but I wiped it out immediately.

I don’t know.
Oh God, please tell me the answer.
The answer of my quest.
The end of my struggles.
will it means I have to stay and put hope on my boss, or I should leave that number in my account and choose to fight all over again.

will I have the courage to start it all over again?
will I dare to leave the comfortness, sweet and crazy friends around me, and again… leave those number in my account?
will I be ready to start my career from the bottom? or I’ll just wait… wait… and wait…