(Bukan) Roman Picisan :)

hatiku berdegup kencang dari kemarin-kemarin.. menunggu impian yang akan menjadi nyata!

Rindu ini menyiksa sekaligus membuat hubungan kita penuh dengan butterflies dan heartbeat 🙂

I don’t know whether we’ll still feel this way when we meet every day…

bertemu dengan kamu rasanya seperti akan menghadapi ujian besar.. rasanya seperti mengejar beasiswa yang akhirnya datang.. rasanya seperti.. keajaiban natal buatku.

Terima kasih Tuhan, Engkau telah membuat doa kami menjadi nyata..

3 bulan lalu aku gelisah, bertanya pada diri sendiri apakah kita bisa menghadapi ujian besar di depan kita.. menangis tersedu sedan ketika kamu bilang ingin menyerah saja..

Lalu aku berdoa pada Tuhan, berkata hanya Engkaulah yang dapat menyelamatkan kami.

Kami terlalu lemah dan kecil untuk menghadapi ujian ini..

Maka Dialah yang menguatkan hati kita sampai sekarang.. sampai 2 hari lagi menjelang kamu berangkat 🙂

Aku nggak tahu bagaimana rasanya akhirnya bertemu setelah sekian lama, mungkin kita akan menjadi asing sedikit… tapi rasa rindu ini akan menyeruak dan rasa asing itu pun akan memudar 🙂

9 days!

9 days agaiiinnn.. i will meet someone that i’ve been missing soooo much and much and mucchhh!!

OH MY GOD!

I can’t believe the days are finally coming!

I’m shaking!

I know this is too much but imagine you are waiting to meet your beloved for 2 months and i don’t know how many freaking days longer!

Thank You God for strengthening my heart and his.. I can’t wait to hug and kiss him!

And hopefully I’ll get my period soon because I got sooo sensitive lately 🙂

C’est la vie :)

I used that word many years ago because I like a song titled “c’est la vie”. And now, after living in France, I knew that the words are true.

Literally, it means.. “it’s life”.

When I arrived here, I was so stunned with all the old yet pretty things they have in this city. I can imagine myself living here for good. But, I couldn’t accept that I was living in an ugly room and I kept complaining for months. After so many things happened onwards..

The ugly situations between me and my BF who changed my decision to pursue my dream.. because I realized I was unhappy without him.

All the disasters happened in this dormitory.. the super disgusting toilet which I saw so many times, the sex sounds, the drunk African, and got sick.. it was all the bad moments in life, but I kept reminding myself that this is what I asked for.

I was coming here because I don’t wanna sit in my golden cage.

And despite of all the ugly things, I still love this city 🙂

And I am grateful that God gave me a chance to stay here and absorb all the diversities. That’s when I say to myself..

“c’est la vie”

Sometimes life give you lemon.. which is bitter and uncomfortable. But in the end you will realize that it will be bad if you think that way. If you turn the lemon into lemonade, you will start enjoying it and feel like life never been sweeter 🙂

It doesn’t take a genius to do that, you just need to be grateful for all the better thing you had compare to the people in India, as an example.

And I start to do it now 🙂

I don’t care even though I lost money, I feel disturbed, I feel unlucky.. but that’s not my choice. Sometimes life doesn’t give me a choice. But, it is my choice to be upset or happy. And my choice will determine my life.

I am so contented now, when I finally accepting things, and do not questioning.

I remember one of my friend, z, she used to be my motivator because she always makes impossible things becoming possible. But now, I think that she’s over the line when she’s no longer grateful of what she has. I will stop becoming that person, yet I will start to enjoy life just what my BF does 🙂

He taught me a lot how to live the life without being ambitious. Life is about working on what you love the most, not competing with others.

C’est la vie, mes amis.. Elle est belle 🙂

I learnt that..

life is always great when we wanna see it that way.

All the hardest thing in life eventually teach me that happiness is not in jakarta, singapore, or france.. but it’s within myself 🙂

Exams start!

Yes, after 3.5 months here.. finally the exam round starts! Started with French.. hopefully, i’ll get good grades tomorrow 🙂

However, the aura of Christmas has turn on the light in my heart and lift up my mood significantly.. knowing that in 15 days I can hug my babe! 😀

Last week has been such a disaster, with weird things happening in 2 days: black African person partying and thought my room is his room, CROUS security guard knocking my door, the false fire alarm, and my neighbor’s room flooded.. Not to mention my awful flu. But, there’s always a rainbow after every storm 🙂

The news from my BF that he got his Visa already has brighten my day and my heart for the whole weekend.

I got 3 .5 months left in Rennes, I need to enjoy every moment of it 🙂

Bises!

Thank you 2012 :)

Well, let see.. 2012 has been a blast for me 😀

1. living in Singapore 😀

2. having 2012 new year in Singapore with my loved ones 🙂

3. got a scholarship!

4. living in a city that I used to see only in wikipedia 😀

5. will celebrate Xmas this year in the most holy place for catholic people! will have a holy mass with the Pope in Vatican! yeay 😀

new year 2012 with him at Sentosa Island 🙂

25 days to 2013!

Yeay, thank you for the amazing 2012 and now we are awaiting for 2013!

I never thought that I’ll spend half of my 2012 in Europe, the land of dream 🙂

So, I will let 2013 be another charming surprise for me! 🙂

However, as a human of course we have wishes.. I don’t wanna pressure myself with a lot of wishes, but I only have 1 big wishes.. Be with my soulmate happily ever after!

So tired to be alone in this life, I think it’s about time for me to tie the knot 😀

 

Le Decembre est beau :)

Yay, December is coming!

20 days more for him to come 🙂

I’ve passed 3 months here.. oui, trois mois..

There has been some changes in my life, include my cooking and french skills, hahaha..

Yes, it’s all worth-it.. all the waitings for 5 years to get a master scholarship, to taste La French de l’ambiance, and the essence of life.

Here I am, lying on my bed with a laptop..

Last week, I thought hanging out with French will makes me contented, but apparently it got me sick! LOL.

I don’t know what I wanted in life, oh Gosh!

I thought I wanted this, but why am I feel unhappy?

Because of my ugly dormitory? My crazy neighbor? the super chilling air?

Nope, as I recall, in Singapore am not happy as well. I got everything in Singapore.. money, my own toilet, but yeah.. I still have crazy flatmates, LOL.

I don’t know what I wanted..

I kept remembering the first time we met.. Oh My God, I missed him so much.. I miss hugging him, sleeping on his arm.. I miss love!

menjadi dewasa.. being adult..

Sewaktu aku kecil..

aku selalu berharap menjadi dewasa dan menjadi bijak, membuat semua keputusan benar dalam hidup secara “otomatis”. Aku selalu merasa melakukan hal-hal bodoh ketika aku kecil dan berharap menjadi dewasa artinya tidak akan membuat hal-hal bodoh lagi.

Tapi dalam perjalanannya, menjadi 15, 20, dan sekarang 27 tahun.. aku menyadari bahwa banyak orang dewasa yang membuat keputusan bodoh, bahkan hingga umurnya 60 tahun atau sampai ketika dia meninggal. Banyak orang dewasa yang membuat keputusan yang menghancurkan nama baiknya, hidup orang lain atau bahkan hidupnya sendiri.. Tidak terlepas dari aku sendiri, banyak keadaan dimana aku harus membuat keputusan sulit dalam hidup, dan aku tidak punya pilihan untuk “pass” atau melewatkan keputusan tersebut.

Itulah esensi menjadi dewasa. Sewaktu kita kecil, kita tidak perlu membuat keputusan penting dalam hidup karena orang tua kita-lah yang membuatnya. Tapi ketika dewasa, kita dipaksa untuk membuat keputusan.

Menjadi dewasa bukan artinya membuat keputusan benar setiap saat, karena terkadang hati dan kepala bergulat satu sama lain.. dan kita bukanlah Tuhan yang tahu masa depan.

Menjadi dewasa artinya belajar dari semua keputusan yang telah kita buat, terlepas dari itu benar atau salah.. dan tidak mengulangi keputusan yang salah kembali.

Menjadi dewasa artinya menjalani semua keputusan yang telah dibuat dengan baik, karena lari dari kenyataan bukanlah jalan keluar terbaik 🙂