no right or wrong, only gutfeel

He’s sleeping and doesn’t reply my text.. Oh no, its not a problem for grown-ups, because we’re not measuring the quality of a relationship from the frequency of communication, because deep inside our heart, we know that everything gonna be alright..

You know what I feel right now?

He hasn’t say “the word”, he hasn’t asked me to be his girl, but that’s okay. I’m not in a rush, fact I’m trying to enjoy these moments so much, because I felt like carrie bradshaw -yet inspired by the 2nd movie also. I am affraid that our fun relationship would changed if we put status in it. We put tag. Tag means responsibility, and it ruins all the spontaneous and romanticism.

Well, I can’t lying myself that I want a status, its only I’m not rushing for it. I let God decide what’s best, yet when’s best also.

Why the hell I need status?

Uh, well.. The fact that my father worried about my “singleness”, the fact that my mother kept asks me to introduce the man I’ve been dating for these past months, the fact that I want to bring him into family leisure, because I miss his presence when seeing my mom talk to my father.. Huhhuhuhu.. I’ve been alone for these past years, and I’m tired of it. I just need someone to share.. I need someone to support, to hug, and to love..

I don’t ♡ him yet, and I won’t.. Until I’m sure he’s the right man I can trust my heart with..

Currently there’s some other man who also came into my life, and I can choose one of them actually.. But my consideration is, I feel safe with him. Its hard to find a guy that you believe he’ll never cheat on you, eventhough you’re apart. How can you trust a guy, that tweeting all around about flirty words? Though, I don’t like smoking guy, so I pass this one. Well, until today I still choose him, because of many consideration. Its rare to find a nice guy, without any tendencies.. Eventhough he needs anger management, eventhough he’s very shy, eventhugh he doesn’t liked to be critizised about his appearance.. Well I guess I just had to compromize with all those attitude, because all human are imperfect.


my twitter id: stephthecutie

it’s been ages since I post any entries :p

uh, well… twitter is very trendy now, and all blogger has shifted to twitter, even the famous blogger celeb: raditya dika.

but i’m trying to keep posting, to share my bitter sweet life =)

i’m currently at market research agency place, just realize this business is hugely expensive…. for 6 FGD session my company had to pay about 10 million… wow!!

uh well, that’s why jakarta is (used to be) the land of dream =)

how bout the lovelife? yeah, it’s a topic that never dies. ever wondered how’s the world without love?? must be so random :p

well, let say now i’m pursuing a safe life… just enjoying the laugh, the love, and the life as a full. don’t really want to hear what people say about me or about him or about us. don’t really want to questioning about the status of our relationship. don’t really want to worry about his age and his objective. okay, i’m worry a bit about this one… but i kept going.

because we’re not God, what we can do is just go along… and enjoy!!!

am I lost?

this is always happening to me. Am I deserve to get a real love?

well, I might be lost.

I have forgot all about church, God, and my parents lately… I even forgot about my scholarship. I should do novena to support my scholarship application, but I’m not doing it. Lately my head is full of him. Even my marketing job has shifted to number 2.

well, I can judge myself, tear-off myself, or knock down my head with a big bang. But, what the use of it? I am me. I always fall into the same hole, that’s a fact. So, rather than telling myself stupid all the time, let’s face it!!

How can I stay sane while this feeling bloomed so hard? how to keep my head straight while my heart beating so fast?

well, the answer it: get real.

there’s no superman. He make your world funnier, but in the end we all die alone. So, never give all your heart to others, you got to keep a piece for yourself.

Hopefully this will end with a good thing. Hopefully this won’t be too hurt. I’m just so tired of broken heart. Amen.


2 days in medan, last weekend for my brand’s event =)

buy the product for 15 thousand IDR, you can have a pic with Indonesian soccer superstar, Bambang Pamungkas

Indonesian Kids and the Mascot "Tigo"

Riding becak motor, traditional car ala Medan