this is february, and i’m still here.

someday i’m gonna miss this place, and miss you in particular.

so i guess my task now is to enjoy each moment with you, before it fades away.

or we’re apart for something i need to catch.


new addiction

how’s life nowadays?

i know i don’t write much after i have boyfriend. And i already predict it even before i’m in relationship, the result from analyzing all my friends and my fave bloggers. when we have mates, we tend to forget everything else, and we only got him in mind.

this process runs amazingly.

I never been in a long term relationship before. My one and only relationship is 1 month and 3 days. the rest is all flings, unclear relationship, and unanswered feelings.

Anyway, though i always asked about him to God.. but I feel amazing, that finally there’s a man who I can connect into. I mean, there’s a man who cares for me as the way I am, and somehow.. I feel the buzz when he’s in certain poses. Before, it’s always been .. I adore one man who doesn’t return my feeling. Or a man adores me, but I really can’t have the chemistry.

well, this is the magical hands of God πŸ˜‰

anyway, about the process.. why am I.. in this middle of night, said that he’s already become my addiction.

maybe the way he try to satisfy me.

maybe the way his eyes looking at people so cruel.

Or maybe the way he worked so hard, and then write me such a short message.

Or maybe because he rarely says he misses me.


What amazes me is.. there’s some moments where.. at the mall.. I only focus on him. I hugged him, I kissed him, and I looked at him deeply, as if there’s no other man in this world… or at least at the mall.

This is amazing, because as you know.. I always flirted to something more beautiful.

Maybe that means.. i caaarrreee about him more than before?

If i’m trying to analyze my feeling, this is started when he suddenly appear at the airport to pick me up. He just stole my heart at that momentΒ  (maybe) afterward, I stop to look at other man.

even when i write this entry, my heart beats so fast.

I miss him so much 😦

—and how am I come into conclusion that he’s my new addiction?

because nowadays I rarely wants to hang-out with my friend after working hours. Yeah, there’s some old friends I want to meet, but because it’s too hard to match the schedule, so I don’t really put an effort into it.

All I want is just hearing his voice.. and imagine hugging him.. kissing him. Having him besides me. Though it’s hard because he’s so faraway.

The plus thing is, I can save money.. a lot πŸ˜€
I already save a lot this month.. and hopefully I will constantly save a lot until the “day” comes πŸ˜€

but the minus thing is.. I don’t wanna be a possessive girl, because i know he hates that kind of woman.

Anyway, though I already this deep with this man, I know I still can survive whenever bad things happened, because I’m an independent woman. I am happy with myself, and none can bring me down πŸ˜‰

so, just enjoy my new addiction, and beware of the side effects, hahahaha…

one of his Xmas present

Cd compilation “the best of me” David Foster.
Though I have no idea who this man is.. But ever since he said “consider I’m singing all those romantic songs for you, cause you won’t like if I sing it directly.. (I often laugh when he sings)”, my thought change.. I like it!

Anyway, my fave is The prayer by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church πŸ˜€

new year resolution

Okay, talking about the serious conversation we had during new year’s eve, and the fact of my condition now..

Again, I am questioning about God’s preference.

Yes, I am still that woman who always flirted to something more beautiful, and I can’t stand my eyes off.

Yes, nor do him.

Now I can see him watching those female legs at mall, but I let him… because I want to see the views as well :p

When I see handsome guy, with not very pretty girl out there, I am questioning God’s decision.

But when he’s sacrificing a lot for me, I feel grateful that God has give him for me.

Yes, I know I was such a terrible “daughter” for my Father.

I am trying Father.. I am trying not to question, but enjoy.

Thanks anyway… the life has been great, like always.. thanks for your unlimited blessings πŸ™‚