new year’s eve

Once again, I am having another moment with my BF, which is new year’s eve.

And I did choose to spend NYE with him, because actually my mom-dad are currently travelling to central java, and I choose not to join them.

Anyhow, he told me about how he played around with his nephew today, and I feel a bit envy with him, because since my sister went to Japan, our family is a bit icy cold. Or maybe our family just grown-up, because all of the children are just growing… and we all do 🙂

Back to NYE, we decide to hang-out at FX. we have dinner, watched “the tourist” movie (Angelina Jolie and Johny Depp -which apparently not too good after all), and waiting for the “time” at starbucks.

Something which amazed me is what he did after we decide to go home and sit in the car. He told me to keep my BB (actually I was pretending to use my BB at that time, because I’m waiting for him to kiss me), and he held my hand. And I was speechless when he started to make cross.. he began to pray.. and it doesn’t stop there.. I was even more shock when he say his prayer. In summary, he said thanks for all the bless in 2010, and hoping that 2011 will be more beautiful, planned and unplanned.

Yes, I was shocked.

I really do.

1. I don’t have any idea that he could be that brave. Brave enough to say his prayer.

2. I don’t know if he’s that “religious”

and it made me feel “maybe he’s the right man for me”. Oh yeah, he’s not perfect, believe me, he’s not. He couldn’t handle his emotion while driving, etc etc…. but maybe God is giving him for me for a reason.

After all, I’m not making decision yet.

I’m just…. shocked.


I’ve been through a lot this year. In sum, I think this is a meaningful year for me. I have shifted my paradigm .. I have increased my knowledge on how company operates.. I’ve been learning on how to face reality.

Thank you God.

Thank you for the countless blessings.


i have 3 great Xmas day with my loved ones 🙂

day 1: have a blast in surabaya’s hotel (business trip) and going back to Jakarta together. Going to new church in Pantai Indah kapuk. He gave me some tiny2 presents, he said the main gift will be given tomorrow 🙂

day 2:  going to Taman Anggrek Mall, watching Gulliver’s travel which is hilariously funny..  and after a tender kiss he gave me the main present, something i want for quite sometimes… esprit umbrella :). luv ya, honey!

day 3: waiting him to cut his hair at my recommended saloon… and though the model still the same (again)… but he looked fresh and lovable :). hanging-out at sky dining, took a lot of pics.. and watching our national soccer team in a steak restaurant ^____^


may you have a merry and happy Xmas, too…!!


i am, now

my yearly performance discussion has become an enormous terror inside my head for this one week.

I am thinking about it a lot, how my greater boss wants me to become.

Am I ready to do it, and if I’m ready, do I want to do it?

but, then, a weekend at home has make my feet grasp again on the ground.

yes, just face it that I don’t have any back-up plan just yet, and now what I gotta do is survive for living.

nonetheless, my boss wants me to be developed indeed.

So, can I just do it, can I just kill these fear inside myself and shine?

because I need to conquer anything in front of me in order to be a winner.


It made me think, does dating has weakened me?

Or do I need stronger man to motivate me?

but, again… don’t make an early judgement, anyway if you get something, you’ll lose something.

that’s the balance in life.

zillion times

I always do the same thing….. zillion times….. always close myself in front of new people.

like a baby shy, I can’t shine….

oh God, I know complaining is useless….

so Maybe I should start to read self-help books? or change myself, but talk is cheap…. and change is difficult….

Or maybe i’ll just seek a job that doesn’t need ability to speak and approach…. and sell….


December comes.. and all i wanna do is right beside him, enjoying my christmas 🙂

christmas comes, in my heart to melt the cold heart and to give warm spirit to my abandoned soul.

It’s time to fix the abandoned relationship with my friends and time to pump up new spirit for my job.

Hey, everybody has their own problem in life.

But it’s not the end of the world.

we all have our own curve.

sometimes we’re at the bottom, sometimes we’re up in the air.

but stay humble, that’s for sure.

because we’ll never know what future brings.