Culture Shock

I have been returning to my country for 3 weeks, so far it has been 90% great and 10% awful. The great things are.. able to spend time with family, playing with my niece and adore God’s amazing work on creating such a tiny angel (who can be super annoying as well, most of the time), aaaannnddd.. for sure, spending a superb quality time with my BF!

After all, he’s the reason I’m coming back and so far he has been supppeerrr nice! I really feel grateful that God has sent such an amazing loving creature into my life. I never feel loved like this in my life!

Yet, as we know 10% awful things was contributed by the most problem in the world: money. The fact that I do not live for free in my parent’s house and I need to spend money for my personal needs as well! That’s why I’m super confused and feel like I need a job soon!

In this recent weeks, I’m thinking whether I should go back to my old job, since Indonesian office didn’t really respond to my mail (sighing).

I don’t know whether the distance would kill me or not, and for sure if I moved there it’ll definitely for money.. and for a better good, people said. I hope I can retire early and spend quality time with my family in the future. That’s my only goal for now, I guess.

Let God light my way.. guide my footsteps and I shall surrender to His will.. Amen.

What is my next purpose in life?

That’s a great question.

Actually, that is my BIG question nowadays.. to myself.

I have no idea what is my purpose in life after working in Google, accomplishing my master, and planning to get married.

To be honest, my current ultimate goal is getting married with the man who already waited for me for 1.5 long distance relationship and proved that he is Mr. Right. But aside from that, what else? I have no freakin’ idea!

If you asked me what kind of job I want to do? I have no idea!

I can imagine myself working as visual merchandiser, interior designer, or fashion designer.. but I don’t have enough education to apply for that job. I also do not want to waste another time of my life to make career switch, because I did that so many times!

Ah well..

Let me start by asking to myself.. what is my end goal?

I have been influenced by a simple laid-off European style, how they enjoy their life not by rushing to catch up subway, or working like crazy.. I just simply want to spend quality time with people I loved, seeing my children grows and seeing their complete life cycle, and after all.. be happy!

I no longer want high position career and all those compliments from people.. that I’m such a great woman. All I want is a fulfillment inside my heart..

But I don’t know how to make it happened!

I have no idea.. I was thinking making my own business will help me to be in that track, but now I feel overwhelmed. I can’t master everything and I can’t ask everyone to help me without hiring them as a professional!

I guess I just need to think how to do things right, in order to be happy.. I guess happiness is something we need to pursue, not something given.


Developing a business is not as easy as I thought before!
Need to think everything from the scratch such as resources, equipments, etc. I was thinking to.simplify my business until I can have more confidence and working capital.