eating with old pren ;p

gawat! gua mulai ngerasa kesepian gua memacu sifat konsumerisme dan destruktif. konsumerisme karena utk mengkompensasi kesepian gua, gua beli2 barang pemuas, misalnya majalah, film dvd, atau yang lainnya. sedangkan destruktif, karena gua jadi cenderung menyakiti diri gua sendiri, jadi insomnia dan kurang merawat diri (scrubbing, masker, etc ;p )

tentunya hal ini gak bisa dibiarkan berlarut-larut dan gua mesti cari cara utk mengatasinya. opsi 1, cari temen kos baru, kerahkan semua tenaga gua buat ngumpulin temen2 kantor gua di kos (secara pergaulan gua ya di kantor, hehehe…). opsi 2, PP bogor-jakarta ;D
pertanyaannya, apakah gua kuat? secara gua kan miss sleepy ;p

anyway….. based on cerita temen2 gua…. Ternyata, pindah kerja itu kayak gambling. you have to hold on the first month and you have to try as hard as you can to survive. tapi, dimana ada niat ada jalan, kan?

some succeed, some are not. but you have to make sure that you will never regret your decision.

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pilih snip atau snap?

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2nd day after Mba petty left 🙂

I miss Ayu when she left this lodging house about 5 months ago, but I still have Mba Petty.. but now, I don’t have anyone and this Sunday night, most of the people return to their home and will be back tomorrow night (maybe 🙂 )
I know one solution of this problem: make more friends. when you feel someone is a stranger or doesn’t fit you, maybe it’s because you didn’t try to know her/him more.

Today I meet Zabet at Sarinah. it’s been approx 3 months since our last meeting. I need her to motivate me.. to drag me out from my comfort zone. yet, I feel she’s already in it either. tentu saja dia masih Z yang gua kenal, yaitu Z yang gak pernah puas dan selalu merasa perlu mendevelop dirinya lebih lagi. Tapi, sayangnya zona comfort itu terlalu indah untuk dilepaskan… she already got what she want, except her master degree. in fact, now she has conquer her fear. dulu dia pernah berujar sama gua, ada 2 hal yang dia takuti di dunia ini: gak punya uang dan jadi gendut. and now, she got money from her company (yes… a lot) and she has all the facilities to be slim, as her wish. yes, I know… it’s like a dream come true. dan gua ga bermaksud mengecilkan semua kebesaran itu. we all should be grateful of all the things God has gave us. but, that should not stop us to dream.

coba deh bayangin, kalo Galileo Galilei puas dengan penemuan piringan hitamnya, maka dia nggak akan menemukan teleskop. Atau kalau para provider telepon puas dengan GSM, maka gak akan ada yang namanya CDMA atau blackberry technology. yes, we shouldn’t stop dreaming. itulah yang sebelumnya gua bilang, jangan pernah menukar mimpi lo dengan apapun.

kemaren gua coba lagi untuk liat TN list Aiesec (dan gua gak akan menyerah sampai kontrak setahun gua abis), dan gua menemukan internship di Unilever Pakistan. Company sih pastinya oke, tapi negaranya uhm… sebenernya masuk ke daftar negara yang males gua kunjungin. gajinya juga kecil banget, almost setengah dari gaji gua sekarang. tapi, posisinya di marketing – CSR, salah satu posisi inceran gua. kemudian, gua ragu…. sumpah, gua dillema banget. kalo iya gua emang keterima (kalau ya… masih as if nih ;p), gua pasti akan menghadapi penolakan dari bokap, yang gak pengen anaknya ke luar negeri, apalagi utk benefit yg lebih kecil. tapi, ya udahlah. I should try my best, and let God tell me HIS decision. gua nggak pengen nuker mimpi gua sama benefit atau apapun namanya itu. oiya, gua baca quote bagus banget dari Andrea Wong (CEO lifetime networks) di majalah cosmopolitan. begini bunyinya:
“Luangkan waktu untuk mencari tahu pekerjaan apa yang sebenarnya anda sukai, meski itu berarti anda harus mulai lagi dari nol. percayalah, it’s worth it. Jika anda mencintai pekerjaan anda, anda pasti akan sukses.”

engggaaa… gua bukannya gak cinta sama pekerjaan gua!!! gua cinta banget sama temen2 gua di kantor, mereka asik dan seru2. gua kaguuum banget sama bos gua, he talk and act like a real manager! but, yes…. I don’t feel very excited about my job. gua sih nggak terlalu terbeban sama kerjaannya, karena basicly gua bakalan do my best in everything I do. dan gua gak mau jelek2in performance gua supaya gua dipindah ke function lain. gua pengen pindah karena bos gua percaya gua bisa develop myself di function itu. yang selama ini gua teriakin sih bukan my current job, tapi objective gua di masa depan. gua merasa harus membelokkan lagi aktivitas gua ke arah yang benar… dan gua tegaskan sekali lagi, gua bukannya ga bersyukur, but I just don’t wanna give up on my dream.

oiya, balik ke Z, gua saranin dia utk pergunakan her bunch of money to subsidize her post-graduate study. yah, at least partially laah… kan nyari beasiswa partial lebih gampang daripada nyari yg full. tapi, dia bilang duitnya gak cukup. umh, gua gak tau juga sih, kalo gua jadi dia apakah gua juga akan mengorbankan sejumlah besar duit gua. tapi, gua pikir2, daripada duit itu larinya ke pakaian, sepatu, tas, atau yang lainnya, mungkin mendingan gua spending ke education yang jelas2 sebuah investasi. Gua belajar dari si Iman soalnya. dia aja berani buat ngambil loan, karena dia percaya gain yang akan dia dapet berkali2 lipat daripada jumlah loan-nya. tapi yowislah, everybody has their own decision.. I just hope that i’ll make the right one.

tadi gua jalan2 sampe malam sama z, jadi gua pikir gua bakalan kecapekan dan segera terlelap. tapi ternyata enggak, setelah mandi dan sibuk ngurusin poni, gua chatting… z lagi online juga (dia emang bilang sih mau online), trus dia tanya sama gua apakah gua ngerasa kesepian. gua bilang, lama2 gua terbiasa dengan kesendirian. gua sengaja mempersenjatakan diri gua dengan banyak gadget di kamar. yah tentu aja tujuannya supaya gua nggak mengasihani diri sendiri, hehehehe… trus dia blg begini, dia tiba2 ngerasa kesepian, padahal udah lama dia nggak ngerasa kayak gini. gua bilang, mungkin dia lagi mau dapet, makanya mellow. eh taunya beberapa jam kemudian malah giliran gua yg mellow. setelah nyetrika baju buat besok, tiba2 gua ngerasa mesti nulis blog utk mencerahkan perasaan hati gua yang gak karuan ini. tiba2 gua jadi berpikir buat balik ke bogor aja, tinggal sama ortu gua yang juga mengaku kesepian, hehehee.. padahal sebelumnya gua males banget PP ke bogor, because I need serenity and a good rest. tapi, ternyata ada yang lebih penting dari keduanya itu, perasaan hati. lama2 gua nggak tahan malem2 sendirian. tapi, kalo gua PP, gua pasti akan capek luar biasa dan apalagi gua nggak dikasih mobil kayak orang2 lain. masa numpang melulu, malu gua…. huaaaahhh, i am so confused!!! di satu sisi gua nggak mau ninggalin kamar kos gua yang “so-me”, tapi kamar ini ternyata juga gak bisa membunuh kesepian gua….. jadi inget film Wall-E, hehehhee… si wall-E kesepian gila sampe temenan sama kecoak. huaaa, film itu lucu banget!!!!!
duh gua mesti tidur nih, gua mesti disiplin dan gak terlalu ngikutin hati, supaya gua bisa keep my life balance 🙂

oiya, gua juga lagi berminat nyari2 NGO atau social activities nih buat ngisi waktu luang gua. atau ya at least i’m registering myself in a gym deh, mungkin di bogor aja karena jauh lebih murah daripada gym di jakarta yang serba pemerasan ini.
huaaa… i miss ririn, mba petty, and ayu!!!!

life adjustment :)

yap, glad to finally decide my new direction

1. after some research, with some help of my lappy, late-sleep, and xl internet connection (with only 115.2 kbps), I decide to postpone my application to post-grad and waiting for one more year working experiences. to get more qualities and to avoid any regret ;p

2. inline with above decision, so I will focus on my current job, abroad internship, and also local vacancies. my objective is to gather all precious experiences and great work achievements to add value in my resume –> to achieve 1st objective 🙂

3. keep the life balance, between family, friends, career, myself, and GOD. also finding the best way for me to communicate with the ONE, in which we could share stories so HE could grant me the courage to face the world and patience to be a wiser person. this late month, my method does not working though, so I should find another way to talk with God almighty…

farewell night with mba petty

Location: Platinum Plaza Semanggi, Friday night….

Attendees: Me, Mba Pet, Ayu, Ii

Objective: Having a great final night with our beloved and panda friend, Mba Pet. We’ll miss u, pren!!

Don’t say good bye, but “i see you again”. remembering one year we’ve passed together, in our lovely lodging house… such an amazing moments… 🙂

we’ll meet in Ayu’s wedding day!

Life must go on

another goodbye has arrived.

my friend -plus my kostmate, Petty, had decided to resigned from her new office and go back to Solo by the end of this week. She will leave all that bunch of salary and great position for a comfort and peaceful life in Solo. She will work at her uncle’s relative office at Semarang (if i’m not mistaken). She just been in the new office for 1 months, but I got her very stressful (and very depressed) facing her new boss and new job. Well, if someone tell you that money can buy happiness, they are liar. money is just an intermediate for us to reach our happiness. so, money should not get us away from being happy….

She told me today, which is 2 days before her departure day. she had packed all of her stuffs and ready to go. I was shocked, no one month notice, nor two weeks. okay….. in this limited time, I should have an amazing farewell with her! and yes, we will have it by tomorrow at a place in Jakarta.

*sighs*

I have to be strong and believe that life is consist of multiple welcomes and good byes. Friends come and go, but they stay in our heart 🙂

Ohya, speaking about loneliness, mother told me that my father feel very lonely after my sister get married, and they asked me to go home each week, hehehehe…. but you know me laaa, I cannot do that because half of my life is in Jakarta, so I have to keep my life balance. Hmmmmmm, I am wondering about my dream to go abroad, my lifetime dream….. indeed my brother-in-law will study in Japan next year. My Mum and Dad will truly exhibit me to go…. but, i will survive 🙂

Life must go on, right…

city girl

baru aja liat FS temen gw yang kayaknya seneng banget to finally be able to work in Jakarta 🙂

staying in Jakarta is not actually my dream. Jakarta bukan “kota impian” gw, mengingat reputasinya yang always banjir every year dan tingkat kriminalitas yg tinggi, plus kualitas angkutan umum yang buruk. dan puanaaassshhhh juga, polusinya paraaah dan bisa bikin muka jadi ancur! tapi yah, di kota inilah uang berputar, dan bekerja di daerah antah berantah seperti Lubuk Linggau ternyata juga ga enak. however, I am a modern and tekno girl yang juga membutuhkan “bantuan” dokter kulit, hehehehe… so, mau gak mau, ya here I belong.

padahal, saking cepatnya ritme kehidupan di kota ini, semua orang disini terkesan egois dan “gahar”. kalo tampang mencla-mencle, jangan harap bisa survive disini! taktik yang selalu gw terapkan: “pasang tampak jutek dan tatapan tajam”. hehehehe… Ririn can do it better than me lahhh… dia skrg jadi jauh lebih galak daripada gw ;p

apa kabar ya dia di Surabaya? yang kata Temma adalah 2nd biggest city in Indonesia (so iyeeeeaaaahhh).

I don’t believe at racism

I never really succeed to answer this question:

“what are you?”

I am Stephanie. I am human. I am me.

That’s my answer. But, no one satisfied with those answers.

why do we have to ask, what are you? where do you come from? what is you race? this is not a Harry Potter world, where muggles is different with witches. we are all equal and things who differ us is only our attitude.

our choices to respect others. to treat people like people. to fly high and finding our own happiness.

again, never ask me that kind of question. Yeah, we all said that we never do racism, but actually we do those kind of things.. when you gathered with your race, your colony, and you saw someone different. you’ll treat him/ her differently. Tapi sampai kapanpun, rasisme akan selalu ada sepanjang sejarah hidup manusia. karena pada dasarnya manusia lebih menyukai persamaan ketimbang perbedaan.

sekian opini dari gua.