do you proud to be indonesian?

No.

I will say that straight to you.

I even dream to go and live in another country. yet, it hurts, but true.

even bad, after I experienced today. OMG, there’s so many road fixed, but they just can’t do it quickly! as a comparison, we can finish a mall in a time less than 6 months. so, I think we just need 2 days to fix a 10 meters road! but they just can’t do it quickly in Mampang… it has cause terrible traffic jam for 1 week, ugh.

Plus, when I take busway today, I was shocked to see so many scattered queque (yes, scattered.. they just don’t know how to queque) inside halte dukuh atas, and it is because the busway line to Kota is fixed!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

so I have to “jubel2” between humongous people with different odors. yeah, and I must trough 5 trans jakarta bus before I can get into it. things that I hate, I hate being inside berjubel2 orang dan dipepet sana-sini, and we’ll never know is there someone take advantages from it (maksudnya pria hidung belang brengsek yang cari kesempatan mepet2 cewe. argh, screw you!)

I see this country as mis-managed, even not the only one. There’s a lot of mis-managed country in this world, but still I am hoping to move to a better country.

And if you still ask me the reason, I’ll tell you why:

-very very bad public transportation -> even I am a bravery woman, in a jungle called Jakarta, I still hate kopaja, metro mini, even busway, and I still avoid take all of those, if I don’t have to (sighs, nasib gak punya mobil). they drive like crazin’ freaks, and nobody even do something to manage it (I mean, DLLAJR). and we’re still wondering why pegawai Astra bonusnya gede!!!

-disgusting bureaucrates -> I’ve been through all of these: kelurahan, tempat buat KTP, tempat buat SIM, and now BPOM. Gosh, they have tempted my sense of killing. with all of the money thingy, I just have to calm myself not to scream! please, could you even remember that all of us will die? and we will bear all of our sins (include our corruptions) into the grave?

-unfortunately, PNS / BUMN worker mentality among my friends (and most of the indonesian people) -> I have only applied for one BUMN (or whatever it’s called), which is Bank Indonesia. but, I did not come to the first test, because I wasn’t ready enough to be a part of indonesian bureau crate. If meeting one or two disgusting people of it make me sick, how can I be a part of if? ugh, then i’ll be sick of myself….

then, I regret why all of my friends beg to be PNS. hey, man… why are you all chasing for a comfort zone? I know we’ll married and get childrens, and need a financial stability for that, but we’re still young now, and what we need is a personal development -one thing that I doubt will we get in BUMN. but, I respect all of people preferences, and I honor that. Just make sure, you will not being the part of a big corrupt family!

-education –> since it’s happening to me, I believe, education is the door to everywhere (pintu kemana saja). with education, you can through everywhere, even with poor financial condition. with education, you can open your mind and your soul to a diverse environment. but, unfortunately, our greedy government, choose to educate and feed their family rather to educate this country. just let total and freeport giving the scholarships, with 0.00000001 percents of their benefit, digging this country.

so, are you still asking for my nasionalism? I am currently being here, for sure. that’s why I still have a hope for this country, an audacity of hope.

One step a time

gw ngambil lirik ini di blognya eka (http://anasthaeka.wordpress.com/page/10/). makasih ya, Ka! heuheu..

liriknya baguuusss… gw bold yah, beberapa bagian yang menurut gw bagus dan super! 🙂

by Jordin Sparks

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you’ve always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can’t touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus:]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You’re confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]

When you can’t wait any longer
But there’s no end in sight
when you need to find the strength
It’s the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

[Chorus x2]

my old friend, Oskar

hari ini gw ketemu temen lama gw yang selama setahun ke belakang mengisolir diri dari masyarakat, ahahaha, alias sibuk trading tengah malam di rumahnya di bandung.

Oskar, namanya, adalah satu dari sedikit orang yang bisa gw ajak ngomong soal akademik dan ambisi. dewasa ini gak banyak orang yang mengerti tentang 2 hal itu. mereka sibuk spending money, mematikan impian mereka, dan bekerja untuk menerima gaji setiap bulannya.

Reza, aidy, zabet, oskar, Iman.. there are the people. orang2 yang nggak melupakan impian post graduate degree, orang2 yang masih haus akan pendidikan. tentu nggak terhitung beberapa teman UBW gw yang sudah berhasil mendapatkannya 🙂

anyway, he owe me a treat, because he made me “adventuring” in the train for 3.5 hours, 2 weeks ago. belum juga nyampe tempat perjanjian, tiba2 dia nelepon gw, dengan paniknya dia bilang kalo dia udah di parkiran pasific place (our meeting point), tapi kaca jendelanya ga bisa ditutup! gw -miss drama queen sekaligus cewe panikan, ikutan panik. mau ngasih solusi nggak bisa, jadi yah cuma bisa ikutan teriak2 aja, hehehe… *kasihan penumpang buswaynya*

akhirnya kita janjian di kantornya, unknown building di deket bapindo -gedung tempat gw magang selama 2 bulan, hehehe.. I know this place too bad. pertama ketemu, gw ngebayangin nih anak pasti udah melar banget, persis si reza. itu kan penyakit cowo2 bekerja.. buncit buncit buncit! gak ding, soalnya dia ngaku beratnya skrg 70 kg. trus gw ngeliat mobil mini dateng ke arah gw… mobil merah norak yang keliatan ga keurus. trus tiba2 otak gw flashback ke belakang. OMG, itu kan mobilnya oskar, who used be fancy and still…. norak, hehehehe…. tapi dulu lumayan banget, sumpah. apalagi merknya hyundai! trus gw masuk ke mobilnya dan ngeliat kaca supirnya bener2 kebuka lebar, as if tuh kaca copot. dia bilang, kacanya meluncur ke dalam, ketika dia maksa buat nurunin kacanya. hehehee… trus dia ngaku deh jangan2 ini gara2 dia pernah ketinggalan kunci di dalam, trus dia congkel kacanya pakai penggaris. OMG, ya pantes aja….

tapi, it kind of reminds me that a clumsy man still exist on earth!! hahahaha, lantas gw jadi senang, dan tiba2 ngerasa I am so normal. secara gw… cewe clumsy yang berusaha utk ga clumsy (trying so so hard), dan masih aja mikir kenapa gw males banget ngeberesin kamar.

ternyata, mau gimanapun berubah dan tua-nya seseorang, ada hal2 yang nggak bisa berubah. hehehehe… it tickles my stomach so bad!!!! *LoL*

sebenernya kan kita gak perlu ngerubah segalanya dalam diri kita, dan gw cinta banget sama sikap spontaneous gw, walaupun itu kadang2 ngerugiin gw juga sih (temen kerja gw protes). tapi yah, it makes me alive… gak usah jaim-jaim lah, just be who you really are.

okay, lanjut lagi… sebelumnya itu, di kalangan alumni asdos komputer, beredar gosip kalo skrg gw jadi kurus (amin). makanya, trus gw nanya sama Oskar, “gw masih gendut kaaannn!!!”. eh, bukannya jawab pertanyaan gw, dia malah bilang gw makin sipit! aarrghhh… why is this happening to meee!!!

ya ampiun… udah sipit makin sipit lagi. apalagi hari sebelumnya, jenni -temen kantor gw, juga bilang sama gw kalo gw makin sipit. masa gw perlu operasi kelopak mata sih? walaupun gw yakin, kalo mata gw jadi besar, i will be adorable *wink-wink*

lantas kita nyari2 bengkel di daerah fatmawati, untungnya gw pernah nemenin z ke bengkel di ITC fatmawati. soalnya, kita clueless banget bakalan ke bengkel mana… trus sempet deg2an juga karena takur nyasar. untungnya Mr. rich guy ini punya GPS yang canggih beneeerrr… trus, gw mesem2 lagi, ternyata ada lagi yang nggak berubah dari oskar, tetep aja boros dan gadget mania, hahahahhaa…. kebalik banget sama gw yang percaya sama “sengsara membawa nikmat”. justru di saat kita mengeluarkan efforts yang gede utk something, kita bakal mengingat momen2 itu terus! it will be a great memories.

gw udah laper banget, soalnya belum sarapan, dan waktu menunjukkan pukul 12.15. I barely can even eat human….

gw nanya2 mulu, mau makan dimana neh, dan akhirnya kita mutusin makan di citos aja, tempat terdekat. dan gw dengan polosnya nanya, “Kar, udah pernah makan cold stone?”
trus dia langsung jawab, “yu nanti kita makan cold stone!”
wuiihh, ini judulnya, pertanyaan membawa nikmat, hehehehe… yipppiii!!!

karena udah laper guilah, akhirnya kita makan berat (alias steak) di mixx grill. kita pesen tenderloin new zealand beef. harganya cukup mahal, karena restonya keliatan biasa aja. so, beware deh di citos, hehehehe… gw jadi inget pas makan2 indoconsult dulu, gw shock ngeliat harga2nya, even steak di trattoria yang harganya 59 ribu. ternyata, kalau dibandingkan dengan sekarang, kenapa jadi terasa murah ya? walaupun tetep aja gw males beli, hehehe, dan gw yakin harganya skrg udah minimal naik 20% lah. ini tandanya inflasi di negara kita sangat mencekik leher…. yuck!
trus setelah makan di mixx grill, kita “ngemil” es krim di cold stone. gw pesen peanut butter pake toping almond, hehehehe… yumm yumm!!!

yah yah, then we chat about everything. menyenangkan juga ketemu temen2 lama, gw jadi suka geli sendiri kalo inget masa lalu. inget pas ngajar bareng atau ngumpul2 di labkom. dulu tuh ritual ke labkom kadang2 suka bikin gw males (karena mesti naik tangga ke lantai 3), tapi sekaligus bersemangat! karena cuma ritual ini yang menghasilkan duit, hehehehe,,, 😛

so, now I am screaming to meet the other old pals!!!

Btw, thanks for the treat, kar!!

not another gloomy story

today is so glommy, hehehe…. bukan gw, tapi temen2 gw di kantor. ga tau kenapa, gw concern banget sama mereka, karena menurut gw mereka menyenangkan 🙂
and each of them has their own difficulties…. that’s make me feel so normal among them, hehehe…

hmm, the day begin when our boss come.. dan entah kenapa kata temen gw sih, mukanya rada masam. gw sih gak pernah aware of that, hehehehe.. lagian kalo bukan gara2 gw masamnya, ya sudahlah 😛
trus ada gebetan temen kantor gw ultah, gw mesti nemenin dia ke seven grain dengan motor, hehehe.. naik motor di bandung sih seru, tapi kalo di jakarta? ck ck ck…. bukan main panashhhnya….

nah, sebenernya sih ada berita lumayan menggembirakan buat gw hari ini, hehehee… I may get two abroad business trip chances next year 😛
tapi ya sudahlah, don’t be too excited, karena gw ga pengen terbang tinggi lalu jatuh *bamm!*

trus Yasmin, temen kantor gw, tiba2 down karena dia mendapati kalo ada orang dengan kerjaan yang begitu2 doang, ternyata gajinya lbh gede dari doi. yah, i’ve been there, gw ngerti banget sih betenya. tapi, gw juga ga ngerti gimana cara mengatasinya. it’s so human to feel bad about something. but, time heals… lo punya hak beberapa hari untuk ngerasa bete dan demotivated, tapi seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, when you trying to let go something, you’ll get bigger. Pada saat ini, kerjaan yang dulu terasa begitu menyiksa buat gw, entah kenapa jadi terasa ringan, dan gw dengan percaya diri malah pengen tanggung jawab yang lebih. untungnya sih, sekarang boss gw ngasih beberapa project, walaupun gw gak nolak juga kalo dapet salary raising 😛

surabaya

Daerah Pakuwon

House of Sampoerna

 

surabaya?

panas dan lengket. sedang dalam fase pembangunan yang amat sangat, jadi GAP nya keliatan banget (antara rumah2 kuno dengan bangunan2 modern). overall sih, 11-12 sama Jakarta. Pokoknya tetep bandung is the best, dehhh!

looking for labels or love?

dedicated for the cosmo women & men, who think they can buy love through labels :p

“Labels Or Love”

Shopping for labels, shopping for love
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of
Shopping for labels, shopping for love
1, 2
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of
1, 2, 3 Turn the lights on.

I already know what my addiction is
I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love
I shop for purses while love walks out the door
Don’t cry, buy a bag and get over it
And, I’m not concerned with all the politics
It’s a lot of men I know I could find another.

What I know is that I’m always happy when I walk out the store, store
I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with
I love him, hate him, kiss him, diss him, tryna to walk a mile in my kicks

[Chorus]
Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more?
No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior
Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for?
Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, Turn the lights on.

I know I might come off as negative
I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love
Relationships are often so hard to tame
A Prada dress has never broken my heart before
And, ballin’s something that I’m fed up with
I’mma do the damn thing, watch me do the damn thing
Cause I know that my credit card will help me put out the flames
I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with
I love him, hate him, kiss him, diss him, tryna to walk a mile in my kicks

[Chorus]
Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more?
No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior
Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for?
Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, Turn the lights on.

Gucci, Fendi, Prada purses, purchasing them finer things
Men they come a dime a dozen, just give me them diamond rings
I’m into a lot of bling, Cadillac, Chanel and Coach
Fellas boast but they can’t really handle my female approach
Buying things is hard to say
Rocking Christian Audigier, Manolo, Polo, taking photos in my Cartier
So we can’t go all the way, I know you might hate it but
I’m a shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love

[Chorus]
Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more?
No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior
Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for?
Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, Turn the lights on.

Shopping for labels, shopping for love
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of
Shopping for labels, shopping for love
1, 2
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of
1, 2, 3 Turn the lights on

body of affairs

I saw so many affairs lately… first, it make me shocked, but afterwards maybe it just us, human and all of our needs and wants…. hopefully no heart will be broken, and no relationship will be crashed.

the question that pop-up in my mind is: “is it only the body, or it’s running into your heart?”
C’mon, you’re all too smart to do these things!!!!

Holiday Billie
Miscellaneous
(THIS IS) MY LAST AFFAIR
H. Johnson

Can’t you see
What love and romance have done to me
I’m not the same as I used to be
This is my last affair

Tragedy just seems to be the end of me
My happiness is misery
This is my last affair

Right from the start
You took my love
Tore my heart apart
Now there’s nothing new to look forward to
My dreams won’t come true

So I’ll make a vow, make a vow
No more to love’s line will I bow
I cross my heart and feel it now
This is my last affair

whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there

Incubus
Make Yourself
Drive

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the
fear take the wheel and steer.
It’s driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal.
But lately I am beginning to find that
I should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes.

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It’s driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I’m beginning to find that
when I drive myself my light is found.
So whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes. Yeh.
Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive?
Would you choose water over wine….
hold the wheel and drive?

unbeatable

 

I think i should’ve laugh outloud.

I used to think she’s unbeatable.

and now, in fact she’s beatable. everyone does.

Is it my victory or his lose. I don’t have any idea. It doesn’t matter anymore 😛

But now I know…… we should not say “Impossible”

because nobody is superior, eventhough they look like it. and we always have the chance (and choices) to be number one or number two…

big smile, my Lord

Yes…. I finally understand when my partner, Temma said about “ikhlas dan menerima”.

“kalo rejeki mah ga kemana, steph… gw mah udah bersyukur banget sama kondisi gw sekarang…”

hehehehe, disaat gw mulai menerima dan meng-ikhlaskan segalanya, gw malah dapet blessing in disguise 🙂

hopefully I can do my best, whenever, wherever 🙂