best friends forever and ever :)

Whoaaaa….. I went to Bandung this weekend 🙂

and I have two purposes:

1. Celebrate my lovely friend -Maria, who just graduated as Bachelor of Economics ^_^

2. having a great farewell with my friend -Ririn, which will be assigned to Surabaya per September 1st!

So, I went to Ririn’s office at Saturday afternoon and go to Bandung with her office’s car. After some waiting, we took off and desperately following the traffic jam in Cipularang.

We arrived at 8 PM (yeeeaah, 8 at night!!) and of course, our filty rich friend -Wisnu, will treat us at his favorite restaurant which is…. Sushi-Tei… OmiGosh, such a torture for me, the sea-food hater.

I have eat sushi, of course.. at Japengo, near my office. It was delicious (for some sushi, which look quite okay, with no raw appearance), but I don’t want to eat it again if I don’t have to!!!!

Okay, let’s not talk about that sushi thing. I have such a EXTREMELY GREAT FUN there!!! it’s like going home.. to my sincere and cute friends, which I could be absolutely myself with any cause. Yes, indeed we talk about disgusting stuffs, and we laugh at it! It was such beyond of my imagination when we meet each other, as an employee and entrepreneur, and look back at our college life. how you go everywhere with ANGKOT, and now from 5 of us got 3 cars. such a luxury….

We went-off when the restaurant is closed and the waiter started to mopping the floor ;p

With no doubt, we also ask him to take a picture of us…. tadaaaaa!!!!

and this is the newly bachelor.. Selamat ya, Mar… I’m so happy for you!

I love you guys! you are definitely one of the most important part of my life!!!

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lentera jiwa

hari ini temen kantor gw mengirimkan e-mail yang isinya tentang kenapa Andy F Noya memutuskan untuk keluar dari Metro TV (in case you don’t know who is he, he was the presenter of kick andy). Dia berkomentar, jangan2 bos gw juga keluar karena baca who moved my cheese, buku yang juga dibaca sama Andy. uhm, well, then I start to read it line by line, dan gua menemukan bahwa ada 2 alasan kenapa Andy membuat salah satu keputusan besar dalam hidupnya:

1. karena buku who moved my cheese, dia sadar kalau selama ini Metro TV udah jadi comfort zone-nya, dan hal tsb malah bikin dia gak berkembang.
2. yang kedua, dia ngerasa udah gak bahagia lagi dengan pekerjaannya. Lalu dia memberi gambaran tentang orang yang menemukan “lentera jiwa”-nya di atas pentas, dunia memasak, dll. Bukan di tempat dimana orang tuanya atau orang lain menginginkan dia berada.

Padahal, sebenernya sekarang gua udah mulai menerima semua keadaan gua, dan terus berusaha ‘membahagiakan’ diri gua. kenapa? karena gua mulai berpikir, mungkin ada orang yang terus-menerus gak bahagia di dalam kondisi apapun karena dia gak pernah puas dan gak pernah bersyukur. lantas, gua lalu menarik kesimpulan, mungkin sebenarnya kebahagiaan tuh gak ada di luar sana, tapi kebahagiaan sejati ada dalam diri kita. makanya, gua mau berhenti mengeluh dan menikmati saat2 present gua. tapi, di saat gua mulai setengah menerima keadaan gua, muncullah e-mail ini yang bikin gua ngerasa “disentuh” sama Tuhan. seakan-akan Tuhan mau bicara sama gua, untuk nggak berhenti nyari kebahagiaan gua yang sebenernya. gua juga sadar sih, gua mulai diserang virus comfort zone beberapa bulan lalu, di saat gua udah jadi permanen, gua udah mulai akrab sama temen2 kantor gua, gua udah mulai dapet role yang “meaning”, dan gua udah mulai males pergi kalo gak naik mobil. virus itu belum menjalari seluruh tubuh gua, mungkin bahkan baru 25%. tapi, kegagalan demi kegagalan yang gua alami membuat virus itu menjalar semakin cepat.

gua juga berpikir, apa iya gua emang gak ment to be in marketing area. lalu, kenapa pula tiba2 gua jadi addict sama marketing, padahal dulu gua so much into fashion design. yang bikin gua kecewa adalah karena orang2 menilai gua cocok di bidang planning atau something related with numbers, padahal sebenernya kerjaan behind the desk bikin gua muak. I ever said, “I don’t wanna be what people want me to be, I wanna be what I want!”

ketika gua pengen sesuatu, seharusnya seluruh tubuh dan pikiran gua mengarah kesana, dan alam semesta bergabung membantu gua. setidaknya itu menurut the law of attraction. makanya, ketika gua mental2 terus di marketing dan gua udah mulai capek, then I’m trying to read God’s plan. kenyataannya, gua emang gak bisa ngebaca rencana indah Tuhan buat gua, karena everythings too complicated. apa yang gua mau dan kenyataan yang terjadi sungguh jauh berbeda. setelah gua baca e-mail itu, gua malah jadi makin bingung. gua nggak tau mesti melangkah kemana, antara perasaan gua, harapan gua, kenyataan hidup, dan kehendak Tuhan.

Padahal, umur gua semakin beranjak naik. Everyone move on with her/ his life. Dan gua gak mau 5 tahun lagi gua mengenang masa lalu gua dengan penyesalan. Jujur nih ya, gua ngerasa “kebahagiaan sejati” gua berhenti saat gua lulus kuliah, atau setidaknya pas gua gagal di tahap terakhir brand associate di salah satu FMCG asing. Gara2 gua nggak ngerti lafal perancisnya yang aneh, jadinya gua gak bisa jawab pertanyaannya dengan baik. Padahal, it was my closest stage…
Tapi gua gak mau menyesalinya sih, actually.
Gua bahagia karena milih jurusan gua dengan kesadaran penuh, walaupun saat itu gua lebih mengharapkan keterima di desain grafis. Tapi, kalo gua masuk desain grafis, mungkin karir gua bakalan lebih jelas kali ya. Pastinya gua akan bisa mengekspresikan diri lewat warna2 dan bentuk2 indah di computer. Yang pasti, saat kuliah gua ngerasain gimana ngejalanin sesuatu yang gua suka, sehingga di saat gua jatuh atau bahkan gak punya biaya kuliah, gua masih bisa ngejalanin dengan ikhlas.

Yaaahhhh…. Kalau dipikir-pikir sih, I’ve done my best to grab my dream, bahkan gua udah mengerahkan effort maksimal gua. Then, If things did not happened as the way I want to be, mungkin tinggal masalah keyakinan dan waktu aja. Walaupun udah hampir 2 tahun terlewati, gua ngejalanin sesuatu yang gak gua suka, tapi semua ini seharusnya sih berguna buat gua ke depannya. Pasti. Itulah keyakinan. That’s faith.

my new boss :)

gw lagi demen banget sama lagunya Maliq – Dia! so groovy dan bikin perasaan jadi enak :”)

***
chatting with my boss, one on one, is actually not that scary. I am the type of person which will do all the things beyond my ability when the urgency arrived. in hard situation, I will conquer my fear and go break the wall. at least that what I’m trying to do, hahahaha… conquer my fear to be a better person than before. to left that shy and low-esteem Stephanie to be the bright and more confident.

from appearance, my boss is someone I wanna be in the next ten years. but in career, I want something else. I wanna be like Carrie Bradshaw, when I have time and moderate revenue in my pocket, to be free to express my feeling. but, outside, she was perfectly what I wanna be. great fashion sense, a litle bit labels touch (only glasses and shoes), also great sense of humor, and eat everything in small portion, hahahahaha….
I don’t know, as I go deeper in my career, I feel like living in a fake world. I don’t know what my problem is, but I wasn’t interested of all the offering, because I was to tired to hear it over and over. I even cannot measure my performance, because I don’t give a damn of it. I feel that I haven’t give my maximum efforts and I forbid myself to learn. it’s like an auto-rejection from my body and mind. when I refuse to learn someting I did not like, when I don’t know what is my objective to be here for at least two years ahead.

And actually i’m not in a good mood since I go research for my scholarships, and I found out that it was only awarded for Mphil degree, which is majoring in philosophy. it’s sad when all of those scholarships only cover several unusual major, and it makes me broken-hearted. now I have to pick the pieces of my heart and my gut and glue it one-by-one. I won’t fall and I will stand-up. I will cross the sea to pick that golden banana. I will make a boat, canoe, bamboo, or even swim to it. I have to BE PERSISTENCE!!!!

you know what happen to my friend, Iman? he’s my inspiration. he made a plan, and he stick with it. he don’t bother money or position. his objective is to be a great consultant. so, he create a ladder and focus in it. when he failed to get his dream scholarship, he decide to apply for a study loan.
I’ve already make a mistake with not sticking to my plan. it’s not definitely my fault, because at that time I have to be flexible upon the reality. huhuhuhu, i’m still thinking that if I got that danone job, I will not write these things right now. everything in the right path. but, this is the fact, and I have to deal with it. so, let’s work on it and get fun!

sex and the city part 2

I just watch sex and the city the movie for the second time. the funny thing was, i just found out the whole story this time. the first time I watch SATC was in Planet Hollywood, the old time cinemas in Jakarta. very cheap price and very small screen. feels like you were watching LCD TV 32 inches at your home, minus you sit on those smelly couch, hehehehe..

anyway, i just understand what Sarah jessica parker want to say through her movie. the movie was actually long enough and will make you bored, unless you were trying to understand the life of a city girl. i’m a city girl, even Jakarta is only a small part of New York. there’s several things I want to highlight from this movie:

 1. the clothes, labels, and closet things
carrie’s addict to labels was freakin’ scary, at least that what I thought now. she was addicted to labels more than she love Mr. Big. that’s why she ruined her simple marriage plan for the branded dress. I’m hoping that I won’t change into that person, because I will truly be ashamed of those attitude. but, that actually happens to single and success women, when they don’t have children to feed and you have so many disposable income. even if that will not be happened to a writer like Carrie in Jakarta, dude…

2. the love and marriage stuffs
yep, in SATC, marriage is like a …. disaster. like when you were married, you’ll love your spouse more than you love yourself, and it will make you miserable. actually, I don’t pros or cons to marriage. for me, marriage is about commitment. you don’t have to be married to love someone more than you love yourself. it happens when you fall in love, even if you were only dating. yep, the bond was our feeling, not marriage. love is about an abstract things which will make us ready to die.. while marriage is about something else. it’s not about lust or passion. it’s about how you think about your future and your plans.

 if you refuse to live alone, then you may marry someone you love. but, if you still enjoy your single life, don’t ever push yourself to make the commitment. of course it will hurt you so much if you stick with your commitment while your spouse cheat on you (like what happened to Miranda), but that’s the risk you are willing to take when you say your vow in front of God. the risk to love, loyal, and forgive your spouse. in bad times or good times.

I was just wondering what will happen to Samantha when her age turn to 60s and her botox is not working anymore. no guy will be attracted to her, and all of her friends spend their time with their spouse. whoaaaa… scary….! yup, the most wonderful things about understand and forgiving your spouse is that you have a partner in life. the partner which is not perfect and will hurt you sometimes… but s/he will grow old with you 🙂

not sure I can forgive this person

kmrn gw habis diomelin gitu deh sama orang kantor seberang sana. sempet emosi berat, tapi skrg gw mutusin buat menanggulanginya dgn smart. walaupun it takes time and ten masks to pretend nothing happened, tapi itulah tindakan yang harus gw ambil kalo gw masih mau stay di kantor gw. hidup adalah pilihan, bukan?
btw, gw keki banget ketika gw menyadari: “kenapa sih orang2 jutek dan menyebalkan malah karirnya sukses??”
it’s soooo unfaaaiiirrr!
somebody has a perfect life, although she had a worst attitude.
tapi trus gw pikir, hidup kan pilihan. pilihan lo buat jadi beyotch dan irritating, tapi tetep maintain performance lo dan LFF (a.k.a looking for face, hal yang wajib dilakukan di dunia bisnis). atau mungkin juga sebenernya dua variabel itu tidak saling berhubungan alias independen? jadi, skrg pilihan gw apakah gw pengen jadi orang baik atau orang jahat.
oiya, berkat kejadian kmrn juga gw jadi tersadar kalau hidup ini kejam dan utk bertahan lo cuma bisa mengandalkan diri lo sendiri dan Tuhan. jangan pernah mengandalkan org lain, karena mereka cuma akan mengecewakan lo doang. kayak jaman sekolah dulu ketika lo gak belajar buat ujian dan berharap temen lo bakalan kasih lo contekan. kenyataannya, dalam ujian setiap orang berusaha menyelamatkan dirinya sendiri, dan gak punya waktu buat ngasitau lo jawaban2.
dulu gw mengatasinya dengan belajar sekeras mungkin. kalo skrg, mgkn gw akan mengatasinya dengan cara2 smart, gak pakai emosi, dan jangan pernah pegang bola panas.

get a life!

“get a life!”, temen gw bilang gitu sama gw ketika dia tahu gw masih di kantor jam 8 malam. i do have a life, tapi jujur sih gw emang males pulang. lagian kerjaan gw banyak banget. biarpun gw udah pulang malem, tetep aja gak kelar2. sekarang kerjaan gw kalo udah nyampe kos, chatting dan nonton cinta fitri, hahahaha… itu sih yang lebih gw khawatirkan daripada pulang malemnya. actually, it is OK if you go home late at night, but as long as you’re happy and keep up the balance, you will have the perfect life!
jadi yaaa, i decide to hang-out today. selama ini gw berusaha mengeram diri di kamar supaya punya waktu buat belajar, but it did not work on that way ternyata. jadi, gw mulai mengingat2 lagi metode belajar gw di masa lalu. sebelum memulai sesuatu, yang paling penting adalah menentukan tujuan yang jelas. bener-bener jelas. step2nya, requirementsnya, dan jangka waktu yang lo punya. setelah itu, lo mesti bisa mengira2, apakah lo sanggup melaksanakannya. kalo iya, artinya lo harus punya full-comitment utk mengeksekusinya.
jadi, ketika semangat lo ilang atau melenceng di tengah jalan, lo harus ingat lagi tujuan awal lo. and sometimes hard life could make you stay in track.
gw inget banget ketika dulu kehidupan gw penuh perjuangan. saat itu, semangat gw malah meluap2, karena gw pengen banget merubah hidup gw.
pesen gw sih, buat orang2 di luar sana. apapun resikonya, lo harus memperjuangkan mimpi lo. jangan pernah menukar mimpi lo, dengan apapun.